where am i going?

few days ago was asked to take up a clinical teaching course, 3 months course and need to supervise the students that comes to ICU for attachment and other staffs that come for internal cross-training....

i didn't take up the offer as i was not the first one to been offer and i am having other commitment this month which unable me to take up the course and most important is that i don't think i can teach and enjoy teaching

preceptoring the new staffs sometimes is enough to boiled me up and really make me feel disappointed with the younger nurses' attitudes and behaviours

when i was back to work and was been asked why i didn't take up the offer as many of us actually turn it down until the offer snowball down to a much younger trained staff in the ICU and she took up the offer and very happy to accept it

teacher?? easy job?? i personally think for a person to teach she/he need to have a good foundation of knowledge and well verse in the skills too as in ICU many skills are important and are needed

what happen if i teach something wrong and the teaching just go on and on
blind lead the blind...........

while doing some reflection on the way home........... asking myself "where am i going?? what am i plan to do for the next 5 years??""

question that i can't answer it as i have not plan it and living in an no aim of direction of life!!!!

i am so lack of confidence!