cornea

waken up in the middle of night with tears flowing down non stop on my left eye and thinking maybe some small sand or eyelashes irritating the cornea and went to wash up and noticed whole left eye was red but at least not so uncomfortable and try to go back to sleep as was AM shift....... didn't sleep well can felt something is inside the eye and each time i blink can just felt something is there...

decided to not wear contact lenses and still go to work and noon time went to clinic and request to see eyes specialist and after some eyes examination and found out that left cornea is having some scratch and laceration due to prolonged wear of contact lenses and eyes are very dry...... some antibiotic and eyes lubricate and hopefully will be fully recover...

is quite difficult to work and wearing glasses especially with a mask on and all the fogging on glasses

just have to cancel my year end trip to rest my eyes.....

vision is extremely important

On nights shift

in less than 6 hours going to start my cycle of 3 nights and i simply hope that it will be a peaceful and non-activity nights as i am with quite juniors RNs as working team....

don't wish to "cover the mountain & ocean" for whole 3 nights.... is a nightmares.. while people are at home sleeping and i am working in a nightmare for 10 hours is really a nightmare.

i am sure the Liver transplant patient is still in ICU given this is a long weekend and was not doing well during surgery and most probably will require pt to stay longer days in ICU..

the rest are equally ill but standing fragile on the fence

i don;t wish to know whom are going same shift as me as it just get me worry as i can foresee the type of common things will happen with certain colleagues that i have.. rather go there and just be with it....

feeling lost

have not coming in here and write down the life story that i am having...... was quite down by few issue and realise it will not be over till is over

now is December and very soon a new year is here again and a new resolution again??

what are my plan and i know the is not an easy question to answer and yet is sound do easy to ask

currently in work place i am really wonder where do i belong....

i don't "polish SNM" shoes and so aren't many opportunity for me to attend conference and no TLs for seminar too

am i a threat to both of them that i will do a better job than them??

or is because of my good friends and my really close friends??

or it just matter after know who i am mixing around??

to stay on with the relationship of "colleague" for the sake of professional of work is really a tough job for me

and want to hang around and enjoy the same people companionship after work is totally out of questions........

i still have my life to go on

i don't believe in forming clique to show "power"

i believe is the capability that management should be looking for

and at the same times i know no one is prefect and that "devil" of bias is always there

lift everything off my shoulder and walk away...... as what the local said "bohchap"

there is lot of so called "office politic" is going on and i simply don't the games and rules and simply think i am hopeless in it

being alone is OK as long as my conscious is clear........

been working in ICU, i simply have to Thanks GOD for leading me into ICU Nursing and open my eyes and my heart of what is going on and how bless i am

it is true that we always chasing for more and forget to count our blessing???

a colleague forwarded me a email regarding life in different part of world and each definition of luxury is so different and yet some are so grateful and some still un-satisfy and asking for more and still chasing

in life, is money so important?
in life the latest technology is a measurement?

in Bhutan is the Gross of happiness that is a national measurement

what is happiness??

even myself can't answer that

have i try my best??

give up half way??

quit when things go wrong??

never can tell how close i am, it may near when it seem so far away

how close am i to it??