disappointment and discouragement

always wanted to go oversea and experience how other nursing are been practice and how are the fellow nursing culture are been lived there.........

apply and apply and finally two round of interviews and successfully obtain the chance that i always wanted ,, a chance to go oversea hospital...

have been writing many email and mostly don't reply, not sure is because there is no "middle" person in available to do the introduction and connecting the line for me!!!

i would say those that reply and willing to accept me there i really thanks you but hate the rules and guidelines that restricted me to say a painful ''NO''!!!

seeing the other that started slower than me and are leaving now is very discouraging..

most of times, hard works don't really helps, otherwise is we really need ""LUCK""

as usual, i am always lack of that and i know it too~ !

5 things you must know before you die

Recently, managed to used my book voucher that i won years ago and i am very glad i manage to pick this book.

is from other people experiences that i learn that i must focus on the moment and destiny is really is in my own hands

i have to decide what i want to be and enjoy the moments

be a giver than a taker, is less stressful and more happier

i may not realise what i really want but i need to live my life

be love, i think i really need to start with myself!

be true to myself

i will be more honest with myself!

starting to love more on myself

i am not really sure if i really understand myself or fully aware of myself

but i know that i have neglect myself and lots of things happen is partly due to my own faults....... the cause start from me!!

not really sure if i well spend the money or really good in manage my on financial

i know if i don't start to love myself or be more selfish more to myself

i will just end up regretting later,,,,,......

GOD plan for me... i am not really sure but like what other have share with me is to enjoy the scenery and the journey while i am on the path that been created by GOD for me

i may not see what is the in front of me but at least i have to understand the path that created for me

happy that the SC is here and i need to be more awake and aware of the situation going on.....

went to watch the KungFu Panda movie and the message was; is not where you come from and what you don't have... is what you want to be and how you want to be

it goes back to the message from GOD that we still looking and thinking of the closed door but forget about the open windows

i really hope that i will stop staring and thinking about the closed doors

and really appreciation the opening of windows and bigger window than door!!

making decision

was a great holiday with mom..... holiday are always great and that the purpose of it!

there is so many things as usual have been taken for granted and yet most of times we still complaints and complaints!

we just forget to be grateful of what we have but always thinking of what we don't have!

was kicking a fuss about CRRT and infusion of drugs few days ago and i realise that most of seniors don't really want to share the correct way with the younger ones as can it due to selfish or just want to see show..... it really pissed me off and other staffs just simple don't bother!

the medical team have not give up on pt but the we already decided that for pt!

have we done our best?

have we forget the vow that we have taken??

what are the ethical responsibility?

use to fight to be among the best but now is totally not the culture anymore

is just a simply a sign to tell me to move on

indecision is also A DECISION and is a choice

Good decision come from experiences, experience comes from bad decisions!

Important lesson taken back from Trauma seminar is the decision making and just have to go for it!

All way out

did i done that for myself?????

disappointed!

not really sure if all this complaining is partly due to aging or things just getting worst! must always mix around positive people so that i can maintain my positive attitude and i am really hoping so!!

what i see around me is getting not the type of my expectation but i can't control what other people way of thinking but i can decide what i wish to think of

SM is right, sometimes, i just have to let go and close one eyes and free my mind and body from all the stress that harming my body!!!

just stay on with my interest and loves myself more

am i worry too much and un-necessary???

most probably i am

learn to priority ME 1st!

why always think of other and end up suffering and my loved ones suffer too

wrong method!!!

make an effort every month

i really think i am too lazy and no motivation to carry on with my own life.
i can really spent whole day at this tiny room and really do nothing at all.
i can just watch TV and do nothing but FB-ing.......

i know i need to step out of my comfort zone and try different things in life
i just don't know what am i waiting for?????
making tiny tiny steps just won't make me any future here.....

after awhile............ i just wasting my time away except working....
NURSING... nurse.... that all i am!

putting so much effort into in..... guess i just not smart enough... working hard is not enough and not a wise decision also

staying on also doesn't mean anything....

next round of transfer will just take it

friendship

sometimes, i really wonder how does ones define friendship and what does it mean?? value of it?

maybe is not friendship but acquaintances? does it fix more to that?

i know is a but late for me to realises that i have been used and my name is been used for other benefit and i still need to fork out huge amount of money.........

i really am pissed off and is a quite expensive lesson!